Vince Young, a Solution for Every Situation

Brad Lidge messed up another 9^th inning last night against the Reds as the Astros lost 8-4. This got me thinking, should the Astros trade Lidge and bring in another hitter or pitcher, or should they simply look to trade for another piece?

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Astros should trade Brad Lidge, Morgan Ensberg, Troy Patton, Matt Albers and Tim Purpura for Vince Young. Yes Vince Young. He will solve every problem for the struggling Astros. He will provide clutch hitting and clutch pitching. He will run out every routine grounder and make doubles into triples with his blazing speed. He is the second coming of, sorry, he is the FIRST coming of Vince Young in the MLB. The Astros do not even have to field 9 guys anymore, Vince can play pitcher and center field. Vince Young is the solution for all problems.

Yesterday, the Titans signed Vince to a five year, sixth year optional, about $58 million deal with $26.5 million guaranteed. The Titans gave Vince first pick money as the No. 3 pick. Beat that Reggie Bush. Vince is the solution for the Titans future.

The Knicks should trade Stephon Marbury, Jalen Rose, Steve Francis, Isiah Thomas, Nate “24 attempts” Robinson and three up and coming concession stand workers to the Titans for Vince Young. All Vince needs is Channing Frye on his team to win the NBA Title. I would hate to be any player trying to guard Vince Young. I can see it now, 4^th quarter, the Knicks are down by 2 with five seconds left and Vince has the ball. You know its going in. It’s going in, all the way to an undefeated season.

President Bush is having some problems with, well everything. Instead of keeping “One Shot” Dick around, President Bush needs to appoint Vince as his new Vice President. His approval ratings will go from crap to 98%, plus minus two percent for people voting in California and Oklahoma. Vince will solve all the issues that are driving this world to war.

Vince: Come on yall, we don’t need to do this. Why don’t yall come back to Auuuuuustin and we can kick it with my boy Sleeeem Thugggg.

(translation for those who are not familiar with Vince talk: Hello respected delegates, we must solve these pressing issues that are driving the world to insanity. How about we take the next flight out to the city of Austin, Texas and solve these problems over dinner with my friend Slim Thug. We will have a delightful time and shall succeed in solving all of our differences. )

World Wide Diplomats: We agree, that sounds riveting.

(translation: holla)

Vince is the solution to all the world wide problems. World hunger you say? Well that $58 million can buy a lot of double cheeseburgers.

Al-Qaida called for a holy war against Israel yesterday, I say we put Al-Qaida and Israel on one team and let them fight Vince. I mean, if the greatest NCAA football team of all time could not catch Vince, do you think a bunch of guys with guns could?

Over the last few weeks, California has been going through some energy crisis. The state of California should trade the City of San Diego, the MTV show Laguna Beach, the Fox show The O.C. and the cast of Beverly Hills 90210 to the Titans for Vince Young. Just strap all the power lines onto Young and his energy will power your whole state.

Vince Young really is the solution for everything. The other day I could not find my car keys so I thought to myself, what would Vince do? I decided to run to work and along the way, I broke through every car that tried to hit me.

If you are reading this column and thinking, “wow this guy is such a Vince homer”, then you are right. I am not going to lie; I will always be a Vince homer. I watched the guy over come a lot of obstacles, on and off the football field, since he came to UT. If Vince really were given any of the positions listed above, I would not count him out of helping that organization succeeding in whatever they need to. If every person who has a chance to make a difference in the world had an outlook like Vince, the world would be a better place. That outlook is the do whatever it takes to win by preparing and working your ass off to achieve the ultimate goal but at the same time keep a humble head on your shoulder that allows you to enjoy the little things in life outlook. Even if Vince is a total bust in the NFL, which he won’t be, he will always be the solution to everything.

Reggie Bush= spoiled kid

If you have not heard, the second pick of the NFL draft, Reggie Bush might hold out and sit the season for the New Orleans Saints. This is by far the most stupid move any rookie can pull. I think Reggie Bush is overrated as it is, so with him holding out I get the impression that he thinks he is too good for the game. Throughout the draft process, Bush was showing a lot of signs that he is excited to play in the NFL and for the city of Houston. When Houston pulled a fast one on him, and what looks like the right move from a financial and burden stand point, Bush lost all of his leverage. Bush wants No.1 pick money at the No. 2 spot. How does that work?

I am one of those guys that support hold outs for veterans because the NFL game can end your career in one snap. I support veterans who are trying to get a lot of money up front with their signing bonus because nothing is guaranteed in the NFL. When a rookie, who has not taken a snap yet, starts holding out, I just want the player to be kicked out of the NFL forever. Do not give me this crap that Bush is trying to make his money. Bush will get his MONEY. IF he has a good season, he can try to work a new contract out, but it probably will not work. If it ever comes out that Bush is holding out for one or two million more, he will officially join my list of players whom I hate.

Bush is a spoiled athlete that has always been the big man on campus. He received endorsement deals from companies before the Saints drafted him. Those deals are worth more than five million dollars. Let me write that out, 5,000,000! If Bush sits out the season, he will go down as one of the biggest idiots of all time. Hey Bush, get your ass out on the field and show why you are an overrated player. I predicted that Bush would get hurt nine games into the season. I guess I was wrong, he won’t even play a game.

Don’t Sleep on the Astros

The Astros lost yet another game they should have won against the lowly Chicago Cubs. Fans can point to the lack of run support, to the horrible hitting with runners in scoring position or you can point to Roy-O giving up a three-run homer to Phil Levin but none of it matters. Yes, the loss put the Astros four games under .500 but it also marks the game where the Astros start to turn it around. The Astros will face the Cubs for two more games with Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte on the mound against a Maddux and Zambrano. With the way Pettitte pitching in his last two outings, the Astros should take both of these games. The biggest series comes on Friday when the Astros take on the New York Mets for three games.

If the Astros can take one or two games, they will be solid. One of those games will be Roy-O, make that game a lock. After that series, the Astros will take on the wild card leaders Cincinnati Reds at home for three games with Clemens and Pettitte on the mound for two. These are the games the Astros need to win and can win because of their pitching. With Brandon Backe set to return and Wandy Rodriguez in the bullpen, I think the Astros are ready to make a push for the central. After the Reds series, the Astros play 15 games against Arizona, San Diego and Pittsburgh, of those three, only one is above .500 right now.

Stop with the Crap

John Jordan “Buck” O’Neil became the oldest baseball player last night by batting twice in a minor league all-star game at the age of 94. (http://sports.espn.go.com/minorlbb/news/story?id=2523029)

Are the minor leagues so desperate for attention that they have to get Buck to bat in an all-star game? Everybody knew that the pitchers were going to walk him before he took his at bats. Stop the crap! This is not amazing or inspirational. This is a cheap gimmick by morons in some minor league to get attention for one night. This would be a good story if Buck was on a comeback trail, played some regular season games, and put up the stats to be an all-star, but he didn’t! You wont hear about Buck again until he turns 95 or passes away. What a joke. This minor league should be ashamed to exploit a legend like that.

If you don’t believe me that this was just a cheap media stunt, just look at another headline: Jose Conseco to pitch for minor league all-star game.

Zidane to get punishment Thursday

Why is this still in the news? Why is Zidane going to face punishment for his head-butt? The guy is not playing anymore FIFA regulated games and for crying out loud, he faced the biggest punishment when his team lost the World Cup. FIFA needs to stop pursuing this. Zidane lost his cool in the biggest game of his life and lost it for his team. Nothing else will hurt or punish this guy more than a loss. If FIFA strips Zidane of the Golden Ball, the best player in the World Cup, I will never watch soccer again without thinking it is setup. Zidane was the best player in the World Cup even with a bonehead play. One play does not take away his whole tournament. FIFA is to soccer as Vince McMahon is to the WWE. Seriously FIFA, if you want to force results and set-up games, just get into the sports entertainment business and not the sports business.

I'm back! It took me more than a week but I'm finally settled back in Houston. I will be starting my internship back at Sports Radio 610 on Wednesday so that should be fun. What do I have on tap for the internship? a lot of early morning Texans Training Camps at oh how about 6 a.m.! I will do my best to pass information about the Texans from what I see.

A lot to talk about so Let's get started.

Barry Bonds:
Many newspapers are now reporting that Barry Bonds will be indicted soon from the Grand Jury leak to tax evasion. Here is my take on Bonds: where there is smoke, there is fire. Look, there is no way that a fabricated story about Bonds taking steroids could be going as far as him being indicted by the feds. Even if someone started a rumor that Bonds took steroids, there is no way in hell that a rumor would have gotten this far! He obviously took some steroids because every day more and more witnesses are found. Could those witnesses be lying to get Bonds back? Probably, but I believe the feds the can weed out the liars in cases as serious as this. Until more information is passed down about this, we will not know what really happened. I believe that Bonds did use enhancers.

T.O.: the media portrayed me as a selfish player
Before I give me opinion about this, I would like to let every reader know that I own a Terrell Owens jersey. I own a jersey because I enjoy watching T.O. on the field. I am not going to sit here and defend T.O. and what he does off the field. For T.O. to blame the media for his portrayal as a selfish player is like saying Saturday Night Live is responsible for the downfall of Ashlee Simpson's career. The media did not make T.O. rip McNabb, even though it might have been deserved. The media did not make T.O. call a press conference in his drive way and make him do sit-ups in his drive way. The media did not make you call one of your other quarterbacks in San Fran a "fag." The media did not make you sign Drew Rosenhaus and make you hold out. T.O. is a tremendous talent on the field but his antics off the field might be what his career might be defined as from now until he retires.

Allen Iverson---Why not to the Jazz?
I have been an Iverson fan since he played at Georgetown. I was rooting for him before he became the MVP in 2001. I was rooting for him before it was okay to root for the bad guy. I was with him when his sneakers only cost $89 and not $109.99. I was with A.I. when he almost became a Detroit Piston before the 2001 season. I am with A.I. today when he is unsure of his future, like every summer in his career. Before A.I., the 76ers were a horrible franchise in the mid 90's. Iverson single handedly resurrected that franchise and took them to the playoffs and the Finals in 2001. He made the 76ers the hottest ticket in basketball for a few years. What the 76ers are doing to Allen Iverson should be the story. Every summer they put him on the trading block to thank him for playing every game like it is his last. Iverson is getting better with age, look at his stats. Last season he put up 33 points, 7.4 assists and shot 44.7 percent from the field (the second highest in his career). All of his critics say he is getting old and his body is breaking down, he only missed 10 games this year. Allen Iverson is still a top 5 to top 10 talent but is getting treated like Shane Battier.
The 76ers need to trade him or shut up and admit a bad trade and get Chris Webber out of Philly. Trade Webb, open up some cap room and bring in some real help for AI. In my mind, the perfect situation for A.I. would be getting traded to a coach that would enjoy him and help him get to the finals again, that team? The UTAH JAZZ! Think about it, Jerry Sloan loves players who play hard nose basketball. Sure, the Jazz might not want him but if I could see AI with one coach right now, I want to see him with potential hall of fame coach Jerry Sloan. Sloan has always loved players who leave it on the floor and knows how to manage hall of fame players. Sure Utah might not be the best social environment for AI but maybe being away from a big loud city might help A.I. Iverson probably won't be traded to the Jazz because he won’t want to be there, but in my mind that is the perfect fit.

What a Sunday!

This Sunday (July 9th, 2006) is going to be one of the best international sports days in a while. It is one thing to have one good final on, but on Sunday you get two! Let’s give the rundown:

•8 a.m.: Men’s Wimbledon Finals: No. 1 Federer versus No.2 Nadal

What a way to kick off championship international Sunday! This is the rematch of the French Open finals but this time on grass. Roger Federer must win this to get his mojo back that he lost against Nadal in the French Open. Nadal is the only player Federer has not defeated this season. Nadal owns Federer on clay and Federer owns Nadal on grass. If Federer wins this, this will be four in a row for him at Wimbledon. I think this is going to be a humiliation for Nadal. Federer, when it is all said and done, will be one of the best, if not the best, player of all time. Wake up early and enjoy some good tennis!

•12:30 p.m.: World Cup Finals: Italy versus France

After a nice morning of tennis, take a quick nap and settle down for the most exciting soccer game in the last four years. Will France’s miracle run end in victory or will Zidane end his career with another World Cup Championship trophy? Is Italy’s scandal plagued soccer season going to end with a bright spot or is there another disappointment on tap for the boots? I think this final is going to be watched by a lot of Americans because this time around a lot of people actually followed the World Cup. This should be a good game so the ratings will be amazing. What is my pick for this match? Look, Italy tied with the USA! Yes, Italy is hot but they tied with the freaking USA!! France has Zidane and up and coming player Thierry Henry!

•7:05 p.m.: Astros versus Cardinals

Fine, this is not an international final but I might be going to the game so I’m adding this to the list. I am excited about this game because I get to see Andy Pettitte and Chris Carpenter. In addition to that, hopefully Albert Pujols dresses out so I get to see a hall of fame caliber player play.

Enjoy your Sunday! Good watching to everyone.

Quick Hits:

· Chicago Bulls and Big Ben

o This is a great signing for Chicago. Yes, he is not the best scorer but his defense is the reason the Bulls are a top 4 team in the East. A potential starting line-up of Big Ben, Noccioni, Benny G, Captain Kirk and say a PJ Brown or Luol Deng is impressive. Chicago was the best defensive team last year in terms of field goal percentage so Big Ben is only going to help them be an even more dominant defensive team. The obvious thing the Bulls were missing against the Heat was an inside presence. Big Ben will not shut down Shaq but he sure will help the guards help slow down Dwayne Wade. The Bulls paid a lot of money for Big Ben but you have to make bold moves to get back bold results. By signing Big Ben the Bulls catapulted themselves over the Pistons.

· The Detroit Pistons

o The Pistons are officially changing from the defensive minded team to the new breed of basketball of scoring and locking up on defense once in a while. They brought in Nazr Mohammed to pick-up the scoring drought but the defensive void is going to be much bigger. The Pistons will have to rely on Billups and RIP more than ever. Rasheed is getting older and has a horrible post game. Flip needs to change this team to a fast break team before age and bad jumping shooting catches them again.

· MLB All-Star Game

o What a joke. This game is the worse All-Star game in the big three. The NBA AS game is the best one followed by the Pro-Bowl. If the MLB wants to make this a real AS game, change the home field advantage rule. All-Star games are EXHIBITIONS! WHO CARES IF THEY END IN A TIE!! I watch the All-Star game to see some matchups that I don’t get to watch every day. I don’t watch it to see what league is better, that is for the WORLD SERIES! Come on MLB, aren’t you in the news enough with your other bad policies.

· World Cup Finals

o I hate Christiano Ronaldo. He is the player that caused Wayne Rooney to get a Red Card and put England in a disadvantage against Portugal. When I saw Ronaldo play I thought the guy was a solid player but his weak antics and dramatic flops made him my least liked player in the World Cup.

o Goodbye Beckham…I picked England to win the World Cup but that pick is long gone. I enjoyed watching the best of the best play every morning for the last three weeks. I am going to miss soccer. The club soccer games don’t do it for me. I wish the World Cup was every two years but I don’t think the world economy could take a hit every two years.

o Italy versus France…who is going to win this match? It comes down to a simple Nike question. Who is featured in the Nike campaign? Thierry Henry! When all fails, pick the Nike player. I think France is destined to win after seeing all the lucky breaks they got in the playoffs. France 2, Italy 1.

· MUST SEE CLIP!!!

o I don’t have cable so this took me a while to get a hold of, the 720 degree dunk by And 1’s “the Air up There”…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkwSGrXXJwM

The next big dunk is a flip dunk! Everyone remembers that from NBA Jamz! War the flip dunk!